Tuesday, August 19, 2008

It all starts....

....about 3 months ago.  Well, that's when the drama starts.  Really, IT all starts about 2 years ago.  The anger, the hurt, the realization that he definitely isn't made for me.  If only I had made the decision then....  I spent days, weeks, months, years following him, serving him, pleasing him, too foolish to see the real him.  After driving 4000 miles, losing my entire savings, losing my precious Bubby, and finding my true self, I finally realized.  I realized.....

So, here I am.  Now back in Ohio....back HOME.  What a bittersweet feeling.  Happy, sad, disappointed, anxious, stressed, relieved.  A whirlwind of emotions.  Sometimes I can't handle it....the anger, the hatred I feel for him as he continues to focus his life on the destruction of mine.  But I keep my head up, put on a smile, and laugh with them all.

My strength would not be possible without those surrounding me.  My Dad....the most wonderful, caring man I know....the man who flew across the country to save his baby girl....the man who drove 2000 miles back across the country all the while being a shoulder for his daughter to cry on.  My Mom....my rock....the woman who has provided me with a safe haven, a place to rest my head, and food for my belly.  My BFF....my heart and soul....the one who truly understands what I'm going through....the one who always has words of wisdom and pieces of advice....the one who can ALWAYS make me laugh.

So, as I sit here, working out MY FIRST BLOG (!), I keep thinking of one quote...."Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do.  But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."


2 comments:

Kimbrolynn said...

I love you.

You were there for me all the way when I was going through the same thing--you still are, and I will always be here for you. No matter where we are in this world, our friendship, our sisterhood is unconditional.

Strength is essential for intelligent women. You never have to conquer by physical force, you just have to build your power inside of you, stand up straight, and believe in it.

<3

Anonymous said...

Erica, my sweetie! I love your blog and you'll be hearing from me! What a great read! Love for Life - gma-m

Find me here, and speak to me
I want to feel you, I need to hear you
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again.