Friday, June 25, 2010

To new beginnings....



June 25, 2010

Change. A time and place where a feeling of unease meets excitement. A period in one's life that requires a choice, a decision to be made. A time and place in my life as of now.

The continuous rock in my life is gone. The person who is forever dependable, always reliable, and forever grateful for who I am as a person and a friend. Gone to the land of palms, lizards, and Latinos. Gone to create change in her world, therefore creating a parallel change in mine. In reality, she's still here, always will be. However, as I age, I am coming to appreciate the value of dates, gatherings, and the company of best friends. I'm coming to realize that technology, while an amazing development, does not make up for the time and distance between two people as close as she and I. I said, "Call anytime. Text. Facebook. Whatever." But, is that enough? Will it be enough? Will cellphones and Facebook suffice at a time when one of us so desperately needs the other? Tears cloud my vision as I step out of her car and into the airport, as I board the plane, as I write this note. Tears at a time and place where unease meets excitement. Excitement for the new life awaiting her arrival. Excitement for her change.

Personal change. Leaving behind the dance world that has been a home, a constant companion of mine for nearly my entire life. Heading into the world of the unknown. A world of change. In career, in location, in habits, schedules, friends; everything I've so comfortably been surrounded by since my return from the West. The present marks a new stage in my life. A developmental stage that will take me from student to teacher, friend to mentor, lover to companion. A stage that has yet to acquire a time or a place. Where I will live, where I will work, where my soul will find peace, and where my love will land is yet to be determined. These are frightening thoughts. But, this unease is met with excitement, because this is change.

As stated by the fabulous Eleanor Roosevelt, "The future belongs to those who believe in the power of their dreams." Kim is chasing the dream that I first learned of at the age of 12. Her future belongs to her. And, while I am faced with an uncertain future, I know that whatever it brings will belong to me. Simply because I believe in my dreams.
Find me here, and speak to me
I want to feel you, I need to hear you
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again.