Another for Katie Marie

8/27/09

7 years have flown by.....

It was a beautiful summer evening, not a cloud in the sky, with only the wind as a distraction.  The smell of fresh flowers lying upon your grave was subtle, yet oh so sweet.  Cards, ribbons, and flags fluttered in the breeze, each reflecting another's memory of you or expressing the disbelief in the amount of time that has passed since we last saw your smiling face.  The clock moved slowly as I sat in the grass, simply staring at the headstone.  Thoughts of our time spent together flooded my memory one after another.  Some sweet, some outrageous, all precious.  I pounded on the keyboard, documenting these memories in cyberspace, hoping to keep them forever.

As I think back upon that night, 7 years ago today, tears silently fall down my face.  A wave of emotions creeps through my body, each one fighting its way to the top.  First, anger.  Then, disbelief.  Followed by happiness, sadness, heartache.  Images of that night replay themselves over and over again, as if set on repeat.  Passing the site of the accident, the massive pile of metal that no longer even remotely resembled a vehicle.  Such a terrible, frightening sight.  Desperately hoping I did not know whomever was in that car because I knew there was no possible way there would be a survivor.  The call from my father hours later.  "Katie was in an accident."  Collapsing on the floor, sobbing, can't breathe.  Getting in the car, pedal down, don't remember the drive at all.  Getting out of the car, little sister running to me, screaming, falling to the ground in despair.  Holding her, so desperately wishing I could take away her tears.  Visitors all night....through the night.  Most of Lebanon High School in the yard, on the street.  Tears everywhere.  I can't believe this is happening.  

And, today, seven years later, I still can't believe it happened.  It was too soon.  You were just beginning to show the world how wonderful you were.  Fortunately, I experienced 16 years of your wonder.  I wish others were so lucky.

As the years have passed, my memory has faded, not of you, but of time spent together.  Rusty, as some may say.  But, the image of your beautiful face and the presence of your incredible, uplifting spirit will always remain.  You will forever be in my heart.  And, as I wrote in this very blog one year ago today, you will forever be perfect.

7 years have flown by.....