31 Days of Giving

Even the poorest of the poor can afford to partake in at least one of these selfless acts.

1. Help get PJs to kids in shelters so they won't have to sleep in their clothes by giving just $10 at pajamaprogram.org.

2. Mentor a struggling student online at icouldbe.org. Studies suggest that a little boost can double a kid's chance of going to college.

3. Donate books you've already read to your library. Most public libraries accept them.

4. End homelessness through soccer. $10 to streetsoccerusa.org helps a homeless person meet challenges on and off the field.

5. Fight malnutrition. A $1 gift to vitaminangels.org will provide much-needed vitamin supplements to children in places like Honduras, Haiti, and even poor areas in the U.S.

6. Tend a garden. $5 to dinnergarden.org buys seeds for enough veggies to feed a struggling family of seven.

7. Do some pro bono work. Whether you're in marketing or IT, taprootfoundation.org can match you with a non-profit in your community that needs your skills.

8. Get lifesaving malaria medication to 10 children by donating $25 to savethechildren.org.

9. Click and give... At care2.org, every click you make prompts a sponsor to make a donation that will fight breast cancer, global warming, and more.

10. ....or surf and give. Use GoodSearch to find what you're looking for online, and every search will send money to a cause of your choice.

11. Regift. Turn gift cards you'll never use into donations to your favorite charity at plasticjungle.com.

12. Provide solar power. $50 to goodgifts.org will send an African village a solar lamp, stove and water heater.

13. Prevent disease. A $50 donation will allow doctorswithoutborders.org to vaccinate 50 people against meningitis, polio and other life-threatening diseases.

14. Send a free holiday card to a soldier abroad via redcross.org/email/saf.

15. Have a potluck with your friends instead of going out for dinner - give the $35 you save to strength.org to feed a child for a month.

16. Keep someone's lights on. Even $5 at smallcanbebig.org makes a difference to a family who needs help with bills due to illness, domestic violence or other tragedies.

17. Inspire a leader. A donation to the Binti Pamoja Center (their name means "daughters united" in Swahili) helps a girl in a Kenyan slum pay for school and learn how to be a community leader.

18. Keep girls on the team. Giving to Robin Roberts' GoGirlGo! Fund (at womenssportsfoundation.org) will help girls displaced by Hurricane Katrina stay in sports.

19. Help those helping others. $150 to homebasedcarealliance.org will supply medicine plus sterile gloves and a bicycle to a caregiver for people living with HIV in sub-Saharan Africa.

20. Reach out to the new kid. $35 buys a winter coat for a resettled refugee in the U.S. at theirc.org.

21. Feed four children in Tanzania a healthy breakfast for just $1 at gocampaign.org, a nonprofit run with the help of kids from the U.S.

22. Warm toes. $5 to hannahssocks.org buys seven pairs for a homeless person.

23. Play trivia. At freekibble.com, every answer - right or wrong - sends 10 pieces of dog food to an animal shelter in need.

24. Help women recover after childbirth. Fistulafoundation.org helps train doctors to care for the 2 to 3 million women who have injuries from prolonged or obstructed labor.

25. Stock a refrigerator. Just $1 to feedingamerica.org will provide nine pounds of groceries to a hungry family in the U.S.

26. Knit. Send squares to warmupamerica.org; they'll be made into afghans and given to battered women's shelters.

27. Give peace to survivors of sexual trauma. $47 to the International Medical Corps (imcworldwide.org) delivers medical and mental health care to refugees who have suffered sexual violence.

28. Turn your wedding into a charitable event. At idofoundation.org, you can link your registry to your favorite cause. Each purchase triggers a donation from the retailer.

29. Starve a landfill. Make this a "no wrapping paper" year - use newspapers, even the pages of this magazine, instead.

30. Keep a woman safe. At madre.org, $30 buys a cell phone for a rural Afghan woman; if threatened with violence, she can make a lifesaving call.

31. Give the gift of opportunity. At worldvisionmicro.org, you can make a microloan to help a woman in a developing country get her own small business up and running.

Where My Heart Lies

"This is the land of the Big Deal, of pay or play, of millions one year and bankruptcy the next, of meetings, meetings, meetings (interrupted by an occasional movie), of much talk and very little action, of hustle and hassle, greed and guile."

And this is the land where my heart lies.

Fleeting Memories

November 26, 2009

Fleeting memories in a dream

A world of restless slumber

Darkness consumes my every breath

Around it wraps its deathly grip

Bony fingers in the dead of night

Squeezing

Holding

Tighter and tighter

Screams escape my mouth

Muffled by suffocation

Tears blind

Flesh bruised

Toss and turn and thrash

Tormented and bewildered

Open my eyes to realize

The hallucination has escaped

Struggle to shake it

The torturous feeling

Of death’s untimely grip

Sleep beckons once again

Fleeting memories in a dream

A world of peaceful slumber.

Oh, my sweet Darfur. Is it all "over?"

9/01/09

The departing Force Commander of UNAMID (United Nations - African Union Mission in Darfur), General Martin Luther Agwai, has been widely quoted as saying so. And if “over” is taken to mean the end of large-scale clashes between heavily armed forces, then this statement is true. In his view, the problems are now essentially related to “security issues… banditry, localised issues, people trying to resolve issues over water and land at a local level. But real war as such, I think we are over that”.

Is this assessment substantially new?

Not necessarily. In the most recent July 13, 2009 Report of the Secretary-General on the deployment of the African Union-United Nations Hybrid Operation in Darfur, UNSG Ban Ki-moon also noted the reduced levels of force on force violence:

During June 2009, there was a decline in the reported levels of violence in Western Darfur, although the armed parties along the Chad-Sudan border remained on high alert… following attacks by the Justice and Equality Movement on positions near Umm Baru (Northern Darfur) in mid-May 2009, there have been no significant military operations, although Sudanese Armed Forces have maintained an increased presence and military patrolling activities in the areas of Umm Baru, Kornoi and Tine, Northern Darfur… large-scale violence stretching over a wide territory and for lengthy periods is now infrequent.

This reported reduction in fighting, should it last, can only be welcomed by those interested in seeing a possible breathing space open for some form of eventual negotiated peace.

But does that mean that Darfur, as the problems there are popularly understood, is “over”? Certainly not.

The same July 2009 report by the UNSG states clearly and unambiguously: “the situation for the civilians of Darfur continues to be deeply troubling, with 2.6 million internally displaced persons (IDP) unable to return to their homes and some 4.7 million Darfurians in need of assistance. Meanwhile, banditry and sexual violence continue to plague civilians throughout Darfur.”

The assessment of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees is just as worrisome:

Conflict and the displacement of civilians within Darfur, and to Chad, continue to hamper efforts to protect and assist the region’s 2.5 million IDPs, as well as some 45,000 Chadian refugees and more than 3,000 refugees from the Central African Republic. The joint African Union and United Nations hybrid force (UNAMID) is present but unable to carry out all its responsibilities due to a lack of equipment and personnel… in Darfur, besides insecurity, violence against women and environmental degradation, the primary concerns of people are in access to land and other livelihood opportunities. Migration heightens rivalries over natural resources, and competition for water, firewood and grazing land can lead to conflict.

In other words, while fighting may be down currently, the underlying issues which lie at its root have yet to be addressed or resolved and the humanitarian consequences of this remains unabated. Coupled with the very serious challenges surrounding the Comprehensive Peace Agreement which has led to a Government of National Unity after many years of North/South conflict, the UNHCR assessment remains all too true today: “The conflict in Sudan continues to affect millions of people and create a complex and volatile political and security situation that remains a challenge for the humanitarian community”.

Similarly unresolved, despite the current lull in major combat, are the very important issues surrounding impunity and the International Criminal Court indictments. Amnesty International has repeatedly called for cooperation on the indictments, which concern President Bashir and others, while rejecting the smoke screen neo-colonialist argument attempting to delegitimize the ICC:

Africa played a leading – indeed, decisive - role in 1998 in the establishment of the ICC. Thirty African states have so far ratified the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. African states strongly supported the creation of the ICC as a court of last resort to ensure that African victims of genocide, crimes against humanity and war crimes receive justice and reparations whenever states were unable and unwilling to investigate and prosecute such crimes. Three African states, the Central African Republic, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Uganda, referred situations in their own countries to the ICC on such a basis. A fourth country, Côte d’Ivoire, has recognized the ICC’s jurisdiction to investigate and prosecute crimes in its territory or by its citizens abroad.

Until a real and lasting peace is negotiated which confronts the underlying conditions which have led to six years of war, allowing for the safe return of refugees and the internally displaced and including safeguards marking an end to impunity and a respect for the legitimate ICC process, it is not - and cannot be - “over” in Darfur.

Another for Katie Marie

8/27/09

7 years have flown by.....

It was a beautiful summer evening, not a cloud in the sky, with only the wind as a distraction.  The smell of fresh flowers lying upon your grave was subtle, yet oh so sweet.  Cards, ribbons, and flags fluttered in the breeze, each reflecting another's memory of you or expressing the disbelief in the amount of time that has passed since we last saw your smiling face.  The clock moved slowly as I sat in the grass, simply staring at the headstone.  Thoughts of our time spent together flooded my memory one after another.  Some sweet, some outrageous, all precious.  I pounded on the keyboard, documenting these memories in cyberspace, hoping to keep them forever.

As I think back upon that night, 7 years ago today, tears silently fall down my face.  A wave of emotions creeps through my body, each one fighting its way to the top.  First, anger.  Then, disbelief.  Followed by happiness, sadness, heartache.  Images of that night replay themselves over and over again, as if set on repeat.  Passing the site of the accident, the massive pile of metal that no longer even remotely resembled a vehicle.  Such a terrible, frightening sight.  Desperately hoping I did not know whomever was in that car because I knew there was no possible way there would be a survivor.  The call from my father hours later.  "Katie was in an accident."  Collapsing on the floor, sobbing, can't breathe.  Getting in the car, pedal down, don't remember the drive at all.  Getting out of the car, little sister running to me, screaming, falling to the ground in despair.  Holding her, so desperately wishing I could take away her tears.  Visitors all night....through the night.  Most of Lebanon High School in the yard, on the street.  Tears everywhere.  I can't believe this is happening.  

And, today, seven years later, I still can't believe it happened.  It was too soon.  You were just beginning to show the world how wonderful you were.  Fortunately, I experienced 16 years of your wonder.  I wish others were so lucky.

As the years have passed, my memory has faded, not of you, but of time spent together.  Rusty, as some may say.  But, the image of your beautiful face and the presence of your incredible, uplifting spirit will always remain.  You will forever be in my heart.  And, as I wrote in this very blog one year ago today, you will forever be perfect.

7 years have flown by.....

Perhaps the most beautiful love letter of all....

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine.
ever mine.
ever ours.

Self Reliance

...There is a time in every (hu)man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preestablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but (God) will not have his work made manifest by cowards. A (hu)man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but when he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace. It is a deliverance which does not deliver. In the attempt his genius deserts him; no muse befriends; no invention, no hope.

...Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great (humans) have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the absolutely trustworthy was seated in their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now (hu)man, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not minors and invalids in a protected corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but guides, redeemers, and benefactors, obeying the Almighty effort, and advancing on Chaos and the Dark.

...The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them.


...I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me, and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men's, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and, if we follow the truth, it will bring us out safe at last.

...If any (hu)man considers the present aspects of what is called by distinction "society," he will see the need of these ethics. The sinew and heart of (hu)man seem to be drawn out, and we are becoming timorous, desponding whimperers. We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. We want men and women who shall renovate life and our social state, but we see that most natures are insolvent, cannot satisfy their own wants, have an ambition out of all proportion to their practical force, and do lean and beg day and night continually. Our housekeeping is mendicant, our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born.

...The rage of travelling is a symptom of a deeper unsoundness affecting the whole intellectual action. The intellect is a vagabond, and our system of education fosters restlessness. Our minds travel when our bodies are forced to stay at home. We imitate; and what is imitation but the travelling of the mind? As our Religion, our Education, our Art look abroad, so does our spirit of society. All (humans) plume themselves on the improvement of society, and no (hu)man improves.

...Society is a wave. The wave moves onward, but the water of which it is composed does not. The same particle does not rise from the valley to the ridge. Its unity is only phenomenal. The persons who make up a nation today, next year die, and their experience with them.


...Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.

I.L.P.

"Paris.  How cliched to be impressed.  But I was.  It's an unbelievable gift to be able to travel.  It just is.  How thrilling.  How thrilling to be somewhere different - where every sight and smell seems strange and exotic.  Paris, where I'd been so many times before, was still a foreign city to me.  The cafes, the bread, the cheese, the men with their ruddy faces and gray mustaches - and the smell.  It smells old and earthy.  European.  I love it."

Single Schmingle

7/15/09

It's the most annoying question and they just can't help asking you. You'll be asked it at family gatherings, particularly weddings. Men will ask you it on first dates. Therapists will ask you over and over again. And you'll ask yourself it far too often. It's the question that has no good answer, and that never makes anyone feel better. It's the question, that when people stop asking it, makes you feel even worse.

And yet, I can't help but ask. Why are you single? You seem like an awfully nice person. And very attractive. I just don't understand it.

But times are changing. In almost every country around the world, the trend is for people to remain single longer and to divorce more easily. As more and more women become economically independent, their need for personal freedom increases, and that often results in not marrying so quickly.

A human being's desire to mate, to pair up, to be a part of a couple, will never change. But, the way we go about it, how badly we need it, what we are willing to sacrifice for it, most definitely is changing.

So maybe the question isn't anymore, "Why are you single?" Maybe the question you should be asking yourself is "How are you single?" It's a big new world out there and the rules keep changing.

What resolution?

June 7, 2009:    One lonely day in May, during a 5-hour layover at D.C.'s Reagan International Airport, I found my eyes wandering through the crowd of lifeless, annoyed travelers, wondering what I should do to pass the time, and what would be my best escape from the smelly old man next to me.  Of course, I should have been reading the chapter that was due the following day, or working on an assignment, or maybe studying for the PLT (which is coming up in just 5 short days....YIKES!!), but instead, I indulged in an express pedicure, a Starbucks Caramel Apple Spice (or, as I refer to it, Heaven in a Cardboard Cup), a beer and a burger at the infamous Gordon Biersch, and a lengthy hiatus at the mini-Borders Bookstore.  Ironically, after nearly 45 minutes of mindless page-flipping, I found myself holding a book called, "Chicken Soup for the Soul:  My Resolution."  Now, you may be thinking, "Chicken Soup???  Who are you and where is Erica?"  Trust me, I thought the same thing.  Looking at the clock and realizing I still had about 2 hours before departure, I decided to flip through the damn thing.  I flipped.  And I flipped some more.  And some more.  Before I knew it, I had read nearly 30 pages!  It was fascinating and real, and I couldn't put it down.  I reluctantly threw $17 on the counter and hurried out of that place before I ended up buying anything else.

Because I'm still in school, I have only been able to read bits here and there.  The past few days, however, I spent hours reading the stories of successful (and not so successful) resolutions made by people around the country.  Some were to lose weight, others were to save more, and others to live more.  Some are tearful, some are hilarious.  ALL ARE INSPIRATIONAL.  During this lonely weekend, I have reflected back upon the two resolutions I made as the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2009.  My first, to save! save! save!, while quite boring and traditional, has fortunately been upheld.  I have a jar (which I keep on top of my cabinet so that I don't have the urge to reach into it on a daily basis) that is half full of coins and small amounts of cash.  Each paycheck, I put just a little bit ($20 here, $10 there) into my savings account.  I'm not sure what these two money pots will be used for, but at least I've kept my resolution.  My second, to live for me, has been a little more difficult.  Yes, I do what I want, when I want.  That's the joy of being single and living alone.  If I want to run around the house naked, I will!  But, I still feel a constant urge to please others, to put others before myself.  Sometimes it's necessary, and sometimes I want to do it, but sometimes, I find the real me cussing out the nice me for saying yes to the colleague who asked me to work on his project, or for returning to the friend who has become one big disappointment.

The resolutions I made are important to me.  If they weren't, I wouldn't have made them in the first place!  However, in reading this book, I've realized that resolutions are just goals, and if they aren't fulfilled in one year, keep trying until you reach that goal.  I've also realized that resolutions don't have to be so serious, and they definitely don't have to be made on that one single night a year where everyone wears sparkly dresses, toasts to a new beginning, and affectionately (or maybe drunkenly) welcomes in the new year with a kiss.

I've taken several ideas from this book.  Some are personal, and will not be discussed here for the world to critique.  Others I am proud to share.  For example, instead of focusing on the "to-do" lists that consume my life, I will start focusing on my "have-done" list, to remind me of what I've accomplished in my young life.  It will be an on-going list that I hope to keep forever as a reflection of the life I've led.  Similar to this, I'd like to begin a journal of thanks.  This journal will hold the things that I'm thankful for each and every day.  Whether it's a snuggle from Paris, or a smile from a passing stranger, anything that brings joy to my life will be recorded.  Along with the "have-done" list, I hope this journal will be my motivation to continue on, even in the toughest of times.  My final, and perhaps most challenging, task is that of a year of photographs.  Each day for the next 365 days, I will upload a picture I have taken that day (aka a "picture of the day") that reflects some aspect of the day.  In essence, this will end up as a year of my life in photos.  Perhaps this will last a month....maybe it will last a year....but, just possibly, it could last a lifetime.  My life in photos.  I can only imagine.

**INFORMATION ON WHERE TO FOLLOW MY YEAR IN PHOTOGRAPHS WILL BE POSTED SHORTLY (gimme a break, it's 10:30 pm, I'm not starting tonight!!)

*** MY YEAR IN PHOTOS CAN BE ACCESSED BY CLICKING THE "PHOTO OF THE DAY" LINK TO THE LEFT (in the "some of my faves...." column)

Through the looking glass.

I've realized that my life has become a chaotic, unrecognizable place.  I'm doing things I never thought I'd do, some good, some bad.  I've lost a few good friends, but gained several great ones.  I'm disregarding things that were once important, and replacing them with things that are now necessary for (emotional and physical) survival.  I have doubts, issues, problems, drama, all unnecessary.  I'm torn.  Being pulled in several different directions.  It's an endless whirlwind of emotions, a roller coaster ride that has lasted far too long.  Take the easy route?  Hold on through the tough times?  Continue hoping?  Or, live for me....as I declared as the clock struck midnight.  I'm young, determined, and independent.  Why do I feel so helpless?  One emotion says go, the other says stay.  One says me, the other says him.  For months, I've fought myself, convinced myself one way or the other.  For my sanity, for me, it's time.  It's time to live for me....and make the decision that best represents that resolution.  My heart is damaged from past experiences.  And this will add yet another scar.  A best friend, a lover, a companion.  Alone I am not, but alone I so feel.